


I don't want to be your friend (I want to kiss your lips)

by illmakefrenchtoast



Series: reddie [1]
Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Coming Out, Fluff, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I haven't seen the second movie yet, I just love Eddie and Richie aw, Kissing, M/M, Modern Setting, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is Whipped, all other characters are just mentioned im sorry, barely, i guess lol, im sorry, they're like 17, this is so stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 06:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20670668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illmakefrenchtoast/pseuds/illmakefrenchtoast
Summary: Something wasn’t sitting right with Richie. As he sat in the desk chair in Eddie’s room as The Beatles played through the speakers he stared at his friend while he did his school work, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, eyes hard in concentration, he realized how much it actually peeved him that Eddie waited to tell him about his sexuality.or, Eddie Kaspbrak comes out to his best friend Richie Tozier.





	I don't want to be your friend (I want to kiss your lips)

**Author's Note:**

> this is stupid. sorry if you actually read this. 
> 
> title from "I wanna be your girlfriend" by girl in red

Richie Tozier stared at his best friend sitting on the bed next to him. The bed was made, the soft blue striped comforter was tucked in at the bottom and the pillows were fluffed and place neatly at the top of the bed. Richie tried to focus on the things he could physically feel and see in the room of his best friend. 

Eddie Kaspbrak looked down to his shoes, the silence of his best friend being confirmation enough that he’d once again, fucked something up. 

“Listen I- uh… I get it if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, Richie.” 

Richie finally snapped out of his daze when he heard those words uttered from Eddie’s lips. He shook his head vehemently and took in Eddie’s face. There were tears pooling up in his eyes, threatening to fall. 

Richie took Eddie’s cheeks into his hands and turned his face up to his own, eyes locking for the first time since Edddie told Richie his most kept secret. 

“Why would I not be your friend anymore, Eds?” 

Eddie shrugged and turned his eyes downcast again.

“Hey,” Richie prompted quietly, Eddie’s eyes snapping to his again. “There’s nothing wrong with that okay? There is absolutely nothing fucking wrong with being gay. You’re still you. You're still my Eds.” 

“Don't fucking call me Eds,” Eddie mumbled. Richie smiled. There’s his Eddie back. “So you’re sure you're okay with that?” 

Richie smiled his signiature smile and said, “Of fucking course I’m okay with that. Besides it’s not even something I would have to be okay with. It’s who you are, Eddie. Nothing can change that. You don’t need anybody else’s approval of who you are.” 

The few tears in Eddies’ eyes were beginning to dry up and smiled at Richie. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “Thanks Richie.” Richie’s hands dropped from Eddie’s cheeks and wrapped around his shoulders instead, pulling him into his body, Eddie wound his arms around Richie’s back and held on. 

Things had been tough for a while for the Losers. With them getting older, they were growing apart, into their own little groups. Eddie and Richie got closer while Bill, Stan, Ben and Beverly stuck together more often than not. 

They still hung out after school some days but with high school work being much harder than previous years, most of the Losers found themselves studying and working hard to be able to get into a good college, far away from their hometown. 

After Bill’s brother Georgie went missing back in middle school, he had never been the same and then some weeks later when they found his body and realized that he’d drowned in the lake, Bill blamed himself immensely. 

The Loser’s bound together after that, stronger than ever but Bill was never the same kid he was when they were young. It broke him. 

“Do you want to tell the other guys?” Richie asked when they pulled apart. Eddie looked nervous. He began to pull at a loose strand hanging off his sweater. “What?” Richie asked. 

“I already told them,” Eddie said. Richie slumped back a bit. 

“Really? When?” 

“Like… a while ago.” 

“Am I the last person to know?” Richie asked, voice uncharacteristically small. He didn’t know why it hurt as much as it did to know that he was the last to know something about his Eds. 

“Yeah. But it’s not like I don’t trust you, Rich. I swear! It’s just-” Eddie cut himself off and sagged his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I know I should have told you but, you’re my best friend. It’s just hard.” 

Richie tried to force a smile for Eddie’s sake. This was tough for him to say and Richie knew how much anxiety Eddie had about almost anything. He didn’t want to make his coming out anymore nerve-wracking that it had to be. 

“Don’t you worry Eds! I’m not mad at all.” He slung his arm around Eddie’s shoulders and pinched his cheek with his other hand. 

“Are you sure?” Eddie asked, with a small voice. 

“Of course. I’d never lie to you!” 

Eddie smiled gratefully, “Thanks, Rich. You don’t know how much it means to me to know that you’re… alright with this.” 

Richie smiled back, retracted his hands from Eddie and clapped his hands. “Alright so now that that's done, what do you want to do now?” 

“Whatever you want, Richie.” 

~

Something wasn’t sitting right with Richie. As he sat in the desk chair in Eddie’s room as The Beatles played through the speakers he stared at his friend while he did his school work, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, eyes hard in concentration, he realized how much it actually peeved him that Eddie waited to tell him about his sexuality. 

But he couldn’t understand why it made him mad. 

Okay, maybe he did, but he really didn’t want to confront those thoughts at the moment. 

“Hey Eds?” he called out before he could stop himself. Eddie looked up. 

“Yeah?” 

“Um. Can I ask you something?” Richie asked. Eddie nodded. 

“When did you… um, when did you know that you were gay? Or like, how?” 

Eddie was caught off guard by this question. It had been about two weeks since Eddie told Richie about being gay and he hadn’t thought too much of it because Richie didn’t make it a big deal, everything went on as normal. 

“I guess I like… always knew? I mean, I never really had a crush on a girl. Like, I could see a pretty girl and acknowledge that she was pretty, you know? And not have any feelings toward her. But then I guess I really realized it when I started having feelings for a boy.” 

Richie’s heart sped up. Eddie liked a boy? 

“Who?” Richie asked. Eddie’s face went red and he looked back down at his papers. 

“You don’t know him,” he said and got back to writing down the answered he’d been working on. 

“Come on, Eds. You can tell me anything, you know that.” Richie stood up and walked over to where Eddie lay on his stomach on his bed. He sat on the edge of it and took to the pencil out of Eddie’s hand. Eddie’s face got redder as he sat up. He crossed his legs and placed his hands folded up in his lap. 

Eddie looked up at Richie with his beautiful brown eyes, wide and scared. 

“Promise you won’t get mad, Richie.” 

“Of course I won’t get mad. I mean as long as it isn’t some fucking loser.” 

Eddie forced a laugh. “Yeah well…” 

Richie paused. “Wait. It’s one of us?” 

Eddie smiled tightly and nodded. 

“Um, Bill?” 

Eddie shook his head. 

“Mike?” 

“No.” 

“Stan?” 

“No.”

“Ben?” 

“No.” 

That only left one person. Richie. 

“M-me?” 

Eddie looked into Richie’s eyes and slowly nodded. “Listen, Rich. I- I know, alright. I know and that’s fine. I know you don’t like me like that, okay? We can just forget about it.” 

Richie nodded along, still trying to process the fact that his best friend is interested in him. He’s the reason Eddie realized he’s gay? And Eddie wants Richie to just forget about that? 

“Sure, Eds. I won’t bring it up.” 

Eddie nodded as his face fell. “Uh, thanks, Richie.” He turned back to his school work on the bed and tried to ignore the way Richie’s eyes wouldn’t leave him even though the conversation was over. 

How on earth was Richie supposed to just not bring that up? It would hurt, he knew that. But everything Richie did lately hurt. But that’s just it. He would do anything for this small boy right in front of him, even if it was painful. He would forget about this if that’s what his Eds wanted. He’d do absolutely anything for Eddie. Even if it was him being hurt in the end. 

They went back to school work and the Beatles and before Richie knew it, the sun had gone down and he was leaving the Kaspbrak’s house and peddling to his own. 

As he lay in his bed that night, he finally let the tears he’d been holding in fall. He cried for a while. For what seemed the whole night. He cried for himself, and he didn’t even feel bad about this selfish act that he almost never allowed himself to do. 

In the morning when he went to school, if other people noticed that his eyes were red and swollen then they didn't say anything about it. Eddie came up to him after the last bell rang and asked if he wanted to come over to do schoolwork. 

“Oh, uh. I’m not sure, Eds. I have some shit I gotta do at home. Maybe some other day?” 

Eddie’s mouth turned to a frown and he tilted his head to the side. “Richie, if you’re… uncomfortable with being around me you can just tell me.” 

Richie’s eyes widened. “No! That’s not it at all, I promise.” 

“Okay… Well, I’ll see you… some time, then?” 

Richie nodded. “Course.” Then he sped off on his bike. Eddie got in his car and drove off to his house. He never understood why Richie didn’t get his license yet. All the other Losers did. But not Richie. 

When Eddie got home he ignored his mother in the living room and went to his room to start on his homework. Not even ten minutes into his math work Eddie got up to find his cell phone in his book bag. He found Richie’s name and clicked it. 

Richie answered on the third ring. “Hey.” 

Eddie breathed out, voice shaky when he said, “Hey, Richie. I’m sorry. I just-” 

“Are you okay, Eds?” 

“Are you mad at me?” he blurted out. Richie took a deep breath. 

“Of course I’m not mad at you, Eds.” 

“Don’t fucking call me that. So why didn’t you want to come over?”

Richie paused. Then, “I told you, I had to do something at home.” 

“You always blow off what you have to do to come over to my house! Always! And then all of a sudden after I tell you I like you, you just have something so important to do? Don't fucking lie to me, Richie!” 

“Jesus Christ, mind your fucking business, Eddie!” Richie was getting pissed and Eddie knew it. He knew he was pushing his best friend’s buttons but he kept doing it anyway, knowing he was going to get his feelings hurt. 

“Then what’s so important that you just had to get done at home?” Eddie asked, voice not as loud but just as icy. 

“Did you ever think that maybe people don’t want to deal with your shit all the time and need a fucking break from you?” Richie’s voice was bullets being shot at Eddie through the phone. Eddie’s mouth was open in shock. 

“Yeah, Richie, I have thought that. But I also thought that, being my best friend, you wouldn’t mind dealing with, what did you say, my shit all the time.” Eddie’s voice was ice cold but he couldn’t find it in himself to care much at that point. 

“Listen, Eddie, I don’t mean that-” Richie sighed, feeling defeated. 

“Yeah, it’s whatever, Richie. You won’t have to deal with my shit anymore. Just- fucking forget about it.” Then Eddie hung up. 

“Fuck!” Eddie exclaimed. He threw his phone on his desk and tossed his body onto his bed and pushed his face into his pillow and screamed. He doesn't know how long he stayed in his bed crying but soon there was a knock at his door and the sound of the knob turning. 

Eddie turned around in his bed, and without opening his eyes, he said, “Sorry about that Ma. I’m fine.” 

“I’m not your fucking mom,” said the voice of none other than Richie Tozier. Eddie’s eyes snapped opened and there was Richie standing next to his bed, bedroom door still open a bit. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Eddie asked. Richie closed the door and sat on the bed next to Eddie. He took his cheek in his hand, thumbs brushing the tears away. Eddie didn’t know how to react. He just let Richie hold his face and wipe his tears but kept his face in a steely expression. 

“I’m sorry Eds. I have been lying to you.” Richie’s hands fell and he turned his face away from Eddie. 

Eddie stayed quiet. 

“You told me you’re gay. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In any fucking way, don’t think there is. But I was the last person you told. And that hurt, Eds. But I realize why you waited…” Richie’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet and wavering. “But how could you tell me to forget about it?” He looked up at Eddie. Eddie shook his head, not knowing what to say. Richie grabbed Eddie’s hands and stood them both up. “How could you tell me to forget about it when… I feel the same way?” 

Eddie gasped. “Wh-what?” 

Richie laughed, but it was a nervous laugh, and it kind of got caught in his throat. 

“Yeah, Eds. I’m fucking crazy about you.” 

“Don’t call me Eds, dipshit.” But Eddie was smiling. 

“Listen here Eds-” But Richie couldn’t get out what was bound to be another terrible joke because Eddie grabbed his face and kissed him on his mouth. 

It didn’t last long, just a sweet press of lips on lips but it had Richie gasping for breath. When Eddie pulled back the taller boy just stared at him. 

Eddie punched Richie’s shoulder and said, “Why didn’t you fucking tell me? How long have you been crazy about me?” He put air quotes around ‘crazy about me’. 

“Um- like a while. I don’t know. Since maybe, um… middle school, I guess,” Richie answered, words tumbling out of his mouth in a mess. 

“Oh fuck, Richie. We’re a fucking mess.” Eddie was laughing. He wrapped his arms around Richie’s shoulders, pushing up on his tiptoes and pressing his face into Richie’s neck. “I don’t want to fight with you. I hate it.” 

Richie knew exactly what he meant. They “fought” all the time. They were always throwing insults around, pissing each other off but it was never anything serious. Richie sighed as his arms wound around Eddie’s small hips, letting his whole body sag against Eddie’s. 

They stood there for another few moments, just basking in the company of each other. Eddie’s nose was cold where it was pressed against the sensitive skin of Richie’s neck, sending chills down his back. 

And sure, soon they would get into college, and move away and apart. But here in this moment, everything seemed alright with these two Losers. They had each other, finally, after all the torment of middle school, neglectful parents, traumatizing self hatred, and hurtful words that were like kives to their fragile skin. Richie had his Eds. Finally.

**Author's Note:**

> hey so I have been watching spoilers for chapter two basically all weekend. I haven't seen it in theaters yet bc I was broke and only had enough money for one film, so I saw the goldfinch. (its fantastic btw, I highly recommend.) but ive been in love with reddie shit for like two years now and I finally sat down to write this really stupid fic. I hate it but I feel like I just had to put some of my love for reddie on the screen, officially. 
> 
> I hope its kinda alright. it's not edited. but uh. hahaha yeah. hope you enjoyed omfg okay bye.


End file.
